FRQNC


Wednesday, November 25, 2009 WIN! j.s.



Monday, November 23, 2009 The DeathSick has struck yet again. Although it's been a couple years since I was truly ill, so I suppose I was due for it. I spent the entirety of this past weekend melting into a chair in my living room, watching HBO and trying to recall exactly when a puffer fish had climbed into my mouth and built a winter cottage out of penny nails and steel wool. And while it's possible that this could've been the dreaded Bacon Flu, I don't really believe so. First, because I've already rounded the sickness nadir (I hope anyway), and my body has started to pull out of the nose dive it was in. And second, my only symptoms have been stuffed up sinuses, a brutal sore throat, and general thick-headedness. (The latter of which is a nigh constant condition anyway.) Although I think I was running a fever at one point yesterday too. Hmm... Okay, it might be the Bacon Flu. Regardless, I'm holed up in my office now, reclining to an almost prone position in my chair and very seriously considering giving up on trying to function normally today and simply going back home. And speaking of my office, I'm about ready to defenestrate the person here who was the source of this DeathSick. I know who it was because I actually balked at touching her keyboard last week when she sounded like she was stuffed up and had throat issues...not entirely unlike I do right now. Yet she assured me that "no, no, I'm not sick...it's just my sinuses. I think it's allergies." Allergies my ass you fuckwitted Typhoid Moron. It's entirely your fault that I was stuck in a beanbag chair all weekend, while I was supposed to be in Fredericksburg drinking wine and relaxing. Granted, you probably had no idea you were sick since you're so hopped up on painkillers (to combat the uselessness of your corpulent, decrepit body), that you can barely complete a sentence, never mind grasp the fact that you're a carrier/breeder for virulent human contagion. Do you know that I watched Xanadu for almost 20 minutes before I figured out what was going on. Fucking Xanadu! I will never forgive you for that. And to the rest of the Keystone Cubicle Cadre that works here? If you're sick, keep your filthy ass at home. Seriously. And if, for whatever reason, you can't stay home? At least refrain from asking your IT guy over to use the keyboard that you've been dripping on all morning. Me, my fiancee (who was stuck in the house with me all weekend), and my leukocytes will thank you for it. Asshat. j.s.



Thursday, November 19, 2009 Cracked me up this morning... The girl won a contest to be the "Kid Reporter" for the Today Show. j.s.



Sunday, November 15, 2009 Good Lord...he's posting on a weekend! Actually that's not true at all. I'm just dropping in to say hi. I have a fiancée who's currently reading on my couch and, no offense to any of you, but I'd much rather curl up with her and watch Sunday Night Football than stare at this LCD screen and type. Besides, I can't do a whole lot else on the computer at the moment since Left 4 Dead 2 is downloading in the background. (Yes, I'm pre-downloading the game so it'll be ready to play the moment I get home on Tuesday evening.) I'll tell you people something... After a long day at the office, there's something satisfying about thwacking zombies in the face with a frying pan. You should try it sometime. See you later this week. j.s.



Thursday, November 12, 2009 Jib and I have taken the day off... j.s.



Wednesday, November 11, 2009 Oh btw... I have 10 more invites to the beta of Google Wave. Let me know if any of you are interested. =] j.s.



Monday, November 09, 2009 I don't think I mentioned it on here at the time, but I was living in Baltimore during the autumn when the D.C. Sniper (and his trusty teenage manservant), were doing their whole "HE HATES THE CANS!" terrorism thing up there. I'd just left college, was all alone in Baltimore (though I'd just met Brooke & Tim), and I was struggling to get by in a low-paying job where I'd been set up to fail. I spent my last $20 in a ghetto grocery store on Broadway on 3 loaves of white bread, a pack of 20-grit toilet paper, and 5 packs of Marlboro Lights. Most of you know that I'm not easily swayed by media fear mongering. And to be honest, I probably wouldn't have given this guy a second thought...that is, if he hadn't been following me. He shot someone in the parking lot of a Home Depot where I'd been shopping the day before. He killed someone at the same gas station where I'd filled Opal the Car up about 3 hours prior. (I actually felt like someone was watching me while I was there, so I sat in my car while the tank was filled.) And he shot through the window of a Michael's Craft Store less than an hour after I'd walked out of there with a bunch of hanging mobiles for an event I was doing at Ravens Stadium. So Mr. John Allen Muhammad, it took quite a bit of effort on your part, but your terrorism did indeed work on me. I bring this up because Muhammad is scheduled to be executed by lethal injection tomorrow evening. And I, for one, won't be missing him. j.s.



Thursday, November 05, 2009 Behold, my new office... Dillard's lurks just over my right shoulder. I has windows I'm almost a grown-up "You are loose cannon, Sandvich...but you are damn good cop!" My lovely view of I-10 and the smog-caked downtown skyline This would be why I've been so quiet of late. Moving and re-networking an entire office is a monumental undertaking. j.s.