Hello from sunny Utah.
Obviously I arrived safely...though I think it was touch-and-go there for a little while.
I kept staring out the window at the jet engine, waiting for it to be sucked into a temporal Vortex a la Darko and dropped on an unsuspecting house in the suburbs one month earlier.
Thankfully no such thing occurred...although there is the flight back to consider...=
Anyway, I'm in the SLC, which has been good. Hung out with Jeff and Kami for a bit last night, both of whom I missed terribly. I do love those kids.
Jenny and I took off to Todd's, our old Monday haunt when we lived here. It was packed, however we were summarily horrified by the unbridled immaturity that has taken to Todd's.
We were easily the oldest people in the room, and I probably had 6 years on the oldest person there.
Not good, and definitely not what we were looking for.
So we have a couple drinks, decide to call for a cab and head outside to wait.
Which is when we meet Floyd the Cabbie.
Floyd (not his real name, but he looked uncannily like the guitar-playing Muppet "Floyd") arrived and began the "cabbie to fare" banter by telling us that he was an orphan...for 3 weeks once.
He talked about his parents' deaths.
Then said he had to "pull some shenanigans" and ran a light simply by taking a right on red, then u-turning, then taking another right on red.
I'm a little unnerved at this point, moreso when he starts talking about the guy he had in his cab earlier.
"He was gay. And he dropped his pants and started chokin' his chicken, right there on the seat! He din't have no pubic hair neither!" [Ed. Ah, the elusive triple negative... Monster Combo!]
So, as Jenny and I are wondering how it is exactly that he could determine the hirsute status of the man's genitalia from the front seat of a moving automobile, he continues his story...
"So I get on the radio, and start telling dispatch about how he's chokin' the chicken in my backseat. Then I hear some women voices on the other end of the line. Turns out, there were a bunch of Girl Scouts in the office tryin' to sell cookies or some shit...and they started asking what 'chokin' the chicken' means..."
This was unbearable hilarity to Floyd, who launched into a cagey, phlegm-spewing fit of laughter.
We manage something to the effect of an "Oh..." and a "Huh...crazy" from the backseat that we're eyeing suspiciously, and want nothing more to be out of this man's car.
He drops us off at Monk's, and we head inside. Have a few more drinks, and a few laughs at the expense of the Utah Rastafarian Brigade loping around the dancefloor to Buju Banton. (All white guys.) And then head to what used to be "Anchors Aweigh" the all-night cafe. It seems "Anchors Aweigh" had not only changed its handle to "The Galley," but had also shed it's 24 hour status along with the excess syllable.
Very closed.
So we wander aimlessly around the streets of downtown Salt Lake for a bit, arguing about Republicans, Democrats, birth control, free speech and self-directed research vs. informational spoonfeeding.
20 mintues later we're cold, and have no idea where we're actually going. So we decide to try our hand at another City Cab, and dial the number.
Thankfully, Floyd the Cabbie was busy.
We ride to Jeff and Kami's place, where they had prepared beds for us on the couch and with a cushion on the floor (wonderful people), and we crash.
Today we all got up, had some Einstein's bagels and coffee over the paper, then bounced around to do a few errands...after which I caught up with Dave at SL Coffee Break.
Hung out with him for a bit there, then rode back to his place to see Kari and the Mancub.
All seem to be doing quite well, and it was awesome to be able to catch up with them, even for as short a time as I got to see them.
I'm kind of a less-than-favored presence with some of his family you see, so I'd planned on bowing gracefully out of dodge since I was told they were coming by.
But, it appears they found out I was there...and I am such the persona non grata with them that they boycotted Dave's, and avoided stopping by.
(Behold the awesome power of viciously snarky comments I made several years ago. =] )
It was too late at that point however, as I'd already made plans for Jenny to pick me up. So I met up with her at an Olive Garden, and rode out to her parents' place in Ogden...which is where I'm writing this now.
And, for whatever reason, I'm utterly exhausted...so I'm going to sleep.
The plan is to head out for Denver tomorrow. Which will be undertaken in monumental snowfall it seems. A snowfall that threatens to continue well into next week.
I've no idea how I'm going to get back to SLC to catch my flight.
You'll know when I do.
Take care,
j.s.
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