Wednesday, December 31, 2003
 
Still crazy busy...the holidays have lessened the days I have to get things at the office accomplished, so I'm very short on time.

I promise I'll recap as soon as is humanly possible.

Until then, Happy New Year everyone.

j.s.





Monday, December 29, 2003
 
Hi.

I don't really have much time to post, end-of-month work thingies again. Christmas was good. I haven't a clue what I'm doing for New Year's yet.

Gotta run.

j.s.





Tuesday, December 23, 2003
 
The X-mas shopping is done.

Or I think so anyway...although Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without my forgetting someone along the way...and, after being reminded at around 11:00pm Xmas eve about said forgotten person, having to go to the local 7-11 for a magazine subscription card + money order, or something equally shady. Yick. Hope I dodged that one this year.

Besides, I'm pretty disappointed in the whole Christmas spirit thing this year anyway. This is directly attributable to the throngs of miserable people in the mall today, tugging children with both arms, yelling about how expensive things are, angrily pushing by anyone who dared not to walk at mach-1... (I actually had a woman come up behind me and say "excuse me," I turned around, thinking she was hailing me for something pertinent, at which point she yelled right in my ear "I CAN'T GET BY!" as she pushed me out of her way with a Kirklands bag. Yeah, and happy holidays to you too darlin'. Hope your Xmas gets better...but I highly doubt it. And I'll bet while you're at it you'll make it miserable for quite a few others too. My condolences to your family.)
And outside the mall? People cutting people off in traffic, honking, displaying various semaphores of discontent, riding bumper to bumper so poor folk who are attempting to merge away from construction are stuck helplessly, etc. etc.

What the hell is wrong with you people? If you're that miserable when trying to do something nice for someone, the rest of your life must be absolutely fucking awful. Jesus...just smile and be nice to a couple people that you're driving next to, shopping next to, or standing in line with this Christmas. We're all out buying gifts for the people we love...just like you are. I promise, you'll feel a whole lot better about the holidays... Give it a shot. It isn't like you could get into a worse mood.

Just a thought...and regardless, I'll still wish you all a Merry Christmas.

And that goes one hundred time over for my friends and family who read this...

I really miss those of you I can't be with this holiday, I wish you and yours all the best.

And for those I will see this year, I learned quite a bit by spending last Xmas alone and penniless, grimacing in pain from a broken wisdom tooth and living on the floor of a friend's apartment in Utah...
So to all of you who care about, and help take care of, an odd, slightly jaded, bemused-looking man who seems to drift in and out of your lives at random, is always full of strange ideas and stories that border the event horizon of madness, who jots alien and completely nonsensical notes on your napkins, drinks all of your liquor, is often found sleeping on your couches in the morning, and who has a odd penchant for ellipses...

Thank you.

I do notice sometimes. =]

Happy holidays everyone.

j.s.





Sunday, December 21, 2003
 
By the by...I took off the whole Amazon.com linkage thing. It just wasn't sitting right with me. Guess I'm not as much of a sellout as I thought I was...

j.s.





 
Hi.

Okay. So yes, I just got back from the wedding...which was great and fun and merry and so forth, despite lingering anti-yankee sentiment that apparently still means something to folks in Texas. It just earned a furrowed brow and a shrug from me...admitted yankee by birth and blood.

Anyway, you can read a little more about it in my comments under the previous post if you'd like. Wasn't really my deal, but I'm happy for my Dad and Cary. They both seem happy...and that's really all I can ask for.

I also got to hang out with my Uncle Andy from Atlanta for awhile...always awesome...and alliterative. He's a very, very cool guy... He did bring me some of his special homemade fudge for Christmas though, so it may take a week or two on the treadmill before my love handles retract and I've hence forgiven him for that.

Dammit I hate when this blog entry screen gets shrunk to only one line of visible text...bleh.

The gnomes should've gone to the damn SuperBowl. I would've owned anyone I played against this week. Scored my highest output of the season...sigh. Next year I guess. Now it's time to just cheer on the Baltimore Ravens. (And I'll have none of your scoffing out there you football fans. They are a football team named after a poem by none other than the Poe-ster himself. You just try to get cooler than that you Cowboy/Texan/Bengal/Redskin/Dolphin/49er person, I dare you.)

Yet another bout with guilt over not writing hit me like a sack of pronouns today. I know I really should be working harder than I am at polishing up some of my written words and sending them out to meet nice people who might like to print them over and over so they can, in turn, go out and meet more nice people and make them happy or sad or angry or whatever they're supposed to do.
I just haven't though. I have no excuse.

...

Except that I need a laptop.
Yeah.
There we go.
I need an laptop so I can sit in the comfort of a coffee shop here in downtown and write...and smoke...and be angsty, caffeinated and surly...and wear a black turtleneck...and snap a lot...yeah...yeah...
If I just had a laptop THEN I'd be able to write my way to becoming a published author...go on book tours and signings and other stuff that seems exotic and romantic from the outside but I'm sure is mostly workish and unpleasantish once it becomes a job. And I bet published, best-selling authors don't have people ignore them at car dealerships (Jeff Haas Mazda) when they just want to find a new car to replace their old one that's falling apart...and I bet published, best-selling authors can fly too. Just by thinking about it. And they can make anything they're wearing look bohemian and pioneering and GQ...like eskimo boots and a sarong with a banana bandana and some wax lips.

Yeah...that'll be awesome.

So...anyone have a spare laptop? Um...and some eskimo boots?

j.s.





Friday, December 19, 2003
 
Took the day off yesterday. And it was good.

Did some of my holiday shopping, and promptly ran out of money. The rest is going is going to be an exercise of X-mas on a shoestring...

I also attempted to put together enough $$$ for a down payment on a new Mazda RX-8.

It would appear that I'm not quite ready for that.
I wasn't laughed out of the dealership per se, but it wasn't far from that. Jerks...

Caught up with Luis and K. last night at Soundwaves and headed over to Katz's Deli for a chicken parmigiana sandwich...which was the best.
Speaking of Luis, he is probably walking across a stage in College Station right now receiving an empty diploma folder...as is Bernie. So congratulations to both you guys. Welcome to post-collegiate life. Hullabaloo KNAAAKK KNAAAKK!
Or whatever the hell you guys say out there...

And, today was the "White Elephant" X-mas party here in the office, which I loathe yet always feel compelled to take part in.
The lady who picked before me won a bottle of Crown Royal, and apparently she doesn't drink.
So I took the bottle from her and let her go back for $20 cash.
I hate Crown Royal.
Yay me.

"Return of the King" was as awesome as I'd hoped it would be and more. I think it tops the first two on the favorit-ometer. Quite a bit of what I saw in my head when playing D & D (which is, of course, how I reference the quality of fantasy films), made its way into it...which was aweschome.

And tomorrow, I head to Kemah for my Dad's wedding. I'll chatty chatty about that upon my return.

Take care all,

j.s.





Wednesday, December 17, 2003
 
The day has come...yet another installment of geekiness and suckulence has arrived. It's LotR day again! Yay!

And I...I shall revel in every broadsword wielding, shield deflecting, ring wearing, pointy-eared, longbow stretching characther involved. And then promptly go home and reminisce of the days of yore, when D&D on Sundays was the norm, and Rijh, Jackal, Kain, Cyan and B.O.B. roamed free...

Good times...

j.s.





Tuesday, December 16, 2003
 
H'lo.

The Gnomes went down Sunday...very sad. Almost made the "Superbowl" too. Bah. Mebby next year.

Plan for tonight is to go see "A Christmas Carol" at the Alley. Tix complimentary of one of D's friends who is in the play. (He's the Ghost of Xmas Past I believe...) Should be good.

I'm starting to hit the gym with increasing frequency, which has done wonders for my sleeping habits. I'm actually tired when I lay down to go to sleep now...neat.

Anyway, not a whole lot to report really...I'm a little out of it today it seems.
Post again later.

j.s.






Saturday, December 13, 2003
 
Hi.

I've broken free for the next few minutes to say hello.

Went out to Star Pizza for...er...pizza...last night with Mom and Russell. Afterward R. and I headed over to The Hub downtown for a couple drinks, (when we realized that Dean's was closed due to a private TD Waterhouse party) then to Dean's for a couple more drinks (once the TD Waterhouse peeps began to stagger home.)

This may be the elitist, arrogant snob in me talking, but for stockbrokers that was one seriously ugly crowd...not a single attractive person in the place.
Awful.

Today was recovery time for the most part. Did the usual breakfast at Fountainview Cafe, this time with Derek, Russell and Mom.

And I have just gotten back from an Aeros game with Dad and Cary. Good times all around.

It would also appear, by the text message arriving on my phone just now, that I'm to meet Mom for dinner somewhere downtown...

Okay.

So I'm out again...and I'm going to attempt to hold on to a bit more of my sobriety tonight. Or so I say right now anyway...

j.s.





Thursday, December 11, 2003
 
I have a splitting headache...like a monkey with a stapler is loose in my noggin.

I'm suffering the effects of caffeine withdrawal I think...haven't had a cup o' joe all week...
Exactly why I'm doing this to myself I have no idea other than coffee just hasn't sounded appealing lately.

Can't wait for smokes to no longer sound appealing, since of the two vices that's the one I really dislike...

You know, come to think of it, today has been really kind of sucky. I randomly threw my back out this morning by simply hanging up a towel. (Yes, I know. I'm falling apart.) Computers have exploded in little mushroom clouds all about the office today, the UPS for our server went out, I have exactly $18.00 in my bank account, and I just found out that I'm not going to get paid until Monday...which presents the always interesting game,
How is Jeremiah Going to Eat All Weekend?
Neat. I love that game. =[

Anyway...poor me.

Ack...and this headache is getting the better of me...think I need to go forage up some Advil.

**staggers off holding temples**

j.s.





Tuesday, December 09, 2003
 
So...I'm selling out. A little. But I'm warning you ahead of time so that should count for something right?

Right?
Ahem.

You may have noticed that I've linked the "Diversionary Meatiness" section over there.

Yeah...those links go to their respective product pages at Amazon.com.
And yes, it's true...if you do decide to purchase the item that's there you will have made The Meaty a little money. Very little...
BUT! It will help toward the cost of keeping the site otherwise ad/banner/popup free, which costs me roughly $50 a year.

And before you yell at me, quite a few people have ended up at this site as a result of doing Google searches for random stuff I put up there...so really, I like to think I'm doing an Internet community service.

Just doing my part to keep bandwidth usage low.

**cues a scratchy, tinny, morning elementary school sounding, recording of "America the Beautiful"**


Anyway, that's my pitch...and if you don't want to be bombarded by the oppressively crammed java pages of Amazon.com, consider yourself warned. No clicky clicky up top.

j.s.

I also would like to note that the opinions, if any do actually occur... as well as the products, sucky or not... as advertised by Amazon.com in no way reflect upon, or really have anything to do with, the attitudes of the Meaty Efreeti.
Thank you.





Monday, December 08, 2003
 
Recappin' is my Life.

Friday D, Luis and K. and I went out downtown.

First to The Hub, which wasn't bad I suppose, your average bar-type bar. They did have XL "Massive Attacks" though. (Red Bull, Smirnoff Raspberry Twist and lime juice.) Ironic since the rest of the music in the place was awful. (Ru Paul anyone?)

After having a drink there, we walked over to Mercury Room, which was very cool despite (or perhaps because of) the $10 cover. Once again, relatively bad music though, though this time from a band. ("She's a brick...houuuse...") We hung out there on the sofas for the majority of the evening, having several more drinks, then stumbled out to Dean's. (No Friday night is complete without a trip there.) Couple more drinks there, and the dancing dimples of Ashley provided entertainment and speculation for the remainder of the evening. Since sufficient alcohol had been imbibed, we decide that Tantra would be an excellent idea and ride over with D.

The line wasn't nearly as long as the last time we went, however they balked at our "No Line/No Cover" passes since they were for ladies only.
I fought back and asked if they had a Press/V.I.P. entrance.
"I write for Details magazine..."
"No, sorry, we don't have a press entrance."
"Mmhmm...well. Duly noted then."

Otherwise there was very little to report on Tantra that evening... The clientel all had nearly visible dollar signs over their head in varying sizes and number. (Think Everquest meets Zagat.) Beautiful young girls out with old, plump accountants and investment bankers. So not my scene anymore. Not to mention the couch I was sitting on appeared to have had someone's DNA liberated upon it...which pulsed a disgusting off white in the blacklit glow of the lounge area. Blech.

So we bail at around 4:00 and head home. Crashed out around 5 or so.
All in all a good time. And I got to go out with D. which so rarely happens these days...

Saturday I got up around 11. Showered and then headed over to Fountainview Cafe, which is my ritual Saturday morning breakfast haunt. Caught up with J.T. over there and chatted until about 1 or so, and then headed over to Dad's to catch a ride to Dickens on the Strand. Which was still cool. Gets one in the mood for the holidays...especially since the temperature dropped to the mid 40's after the sun went down. Everyone rosy cheeked and bundled up. (Except the Utah refugee that is...who was merely in a T-shirt and leather jacket.) Was good...almost Park Cityish. Good time.

Sunday was the last game of the Gnomes regular season. So I went back out to Dad's to watch Foobaw.

The Gnomes have finished out the season as the number 1 team in the league, record-wise.

As such, the Gnomes would like to thank our Chinstrappy fans for getting behind us these last few weeks leading into the playoffs. You guys are the best supporters any team could hope for. We'd also like you all to forget about the whole, "moving to Tennessee" thing...k?
Excellent.
So the playoffs begin this Sunday...and I play Russell. Though the Gnomey matchup doesn't look too good this week...my running backs are playing against Tampa Bay and New England. Ick.
Could be an upset in the first round of the playoffs if I lose...=[

We'll see.

Okay, I'm going to take off for a bit. Take care everyone...

j.s.

**Ack...there are only 16 more shopping days until X-Mas. !!!**





Friday, December 05, 2003
 
Oh...and as an aside. I did go see Bubba Ho-Tep.

Awesome...just awesome. Though it definitely isn't for everyone. If you dug Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness...then go see it. You'll love it.

Elvis and JFK, residents of a rest home in East Texas, battle a cowboy-booted mummy who is sucking souls from out the...er, orifices...of the other geriatrics in the old age home.

Genius. Brilliant.

Infinitely better, though significantly less scary, than the Paris Hilton videotape that's getting millions of downloads a second...which I unfortunately will admit to seeing as well.

Does anyone else think FOX Network is low and evil enough to have sat (ahem) on that tape until JUST BEFORE the "A Simple Life" show aired? Do you find that a little suspect? And whether they did it or not...the fact that you could believe they might have says quite a bit about the state of our American media currently.

Although the fact that Paris Hilton is in a television show should say quite enough...

j.s.





 
So I'm leaving the office late last night...
And I'm driving along the feeder next to the freeway.

I notice a cop passing me on the right, and as I look over at him a flash of light, where there shouldn't be one, catches my right eye.

It's one of the exit signs next to the freeway...going straight up. End over end, like a flipped coin. I've just enough time to become cognizant of what's going on when I hear a *CRACK* and see the trunk of a car rise upward, open and spill it's contents everywhere...and then crash back onto the ground.

A woman drove off the freeway, right through the exit sign, and into the 3' round, concrete, lighting pillars.

So I hit the brakes, put on my hazards, and ran to the now smoking/steaming car, dialng 911 as I went.

I don't think the cop had any idea that this happened, since when I stopped he basically just slowed down a bit and pulled over to see what I was doing. He even backed up toward me along the feeder...until he saw what I was looking at. Then he did a quick 180 and screeched over to us.

There, hood wrapped nearly completely around the pillar, was a light blue sedan...with the door open.

And honestly, I was terrified to look in the car...knowing that whatever was left of the person inside would haunt me the rest of my life. But thankfully my feet kept moving toward it.

And as I got closer I heard a woman's voice...yelling...as if she was really pissed off. I came around the open front door and saw an African-American lady, leaning into where the steering wheel should have been, her face and torso covered by a deflating airbag, her left arm laying limply next to her, unmoving.
I would've thought she was dead if she weren't screaming like she was ready to kill someone herself.

"Ma'am?"
"GODDAMMIT, MOTHAFU__! SH__!!! SONOFA!!! AGGHHHH!!!" (you get the idea.)
"Ma'am...hold still. Try not to move at all, the police are here and we'll get you help."
"I AIN'T MOVIN'!!!"
"Good."

At this point the portly cop, using his gelatinous gut as a rolling fulcrum point, swung himself over the guardrail and ran over...flashlight in hand.

"Don't move lady. Don't move."
"EXPLETIVE! EXPLETIVE! EXPLETIVE!!"
"Excellent work officer..."

Anyway, I backed up and let him do his coply thing...hailing the right folks that need to be contacted and such.

But it was when some random guy came running over with a fire extinguisher and proceeded to cover the car in sulfuric yellow dust (he thought the steam coming from the broken radiator was smoke apparently), that I decided it'd be better to leave. I told the cop I was leaving and that I didn't see what caused the accident, just the wreck itself. He nodded and said that Lifeflight was enroute, and that it was okay for me to leave.

I walked back to my car, and crashed out on the couch at D's place...since I was a bit leery of driving at this point. As I was pulling in, I heard Lifeflight's *whupwhupwhup* overhead...

So...wherever you are Shouty Lady, I hope you're doing okay.

j.s.





Wednesday, December 03, 2003
 
Ah!

I did forget to mention a couple other things about the holiday weekend...

D, Mom and I went to the Museum of Modern Art on Friday to see their Heroic Century exhibition.

Very cool, but ridiculously crowded...so really enjoying the artwork was difficult. (Screaming children, oblivious audio tour-bots, redneck threats to steal "Starry Night," strollers, etc.)

Also I went to go see "Love, Actually" with Mom...which should have been titled "Brits Behaving Badly" instead.

It did have Keira Knightly in it though...

And I'll let you all in on a horribly embarrasing, dark secret of mine...gather close to the monitor now...


Keira makes me melt, just a little.


I know, I know!!!

Yes she was born in 1985...(i.e. she's 18.)
And yes, she thusly breaks the ironclad "1980 statute."
And this isn't even mentioning the Nabokovian quotient...which I must admit makes me feel a little icky...

I know all this...but I can't help it.

I'm male.
She's cute.

And seems like she'd be at least cognizant and sorta witty in real life...and she likes pirates...

Ack.

Er...sorry if I disappoint...

Yeah...

Erm...

Hey! Look over there!
**points behind you**


j.s.





Monday, December 01, 2003
 
Hey...that's Reverend Jeremiah John, to you tuff guy.

After all, I've been a prophet since I was 18...you can tell by my tattoo. (Check the etymology of "mantis.") Seemed the next logical step.

And unfortunately this is all true. (For those of you that I didn't call in a giggly, Wild Turkey-induced haze on Thanksgiving and thusly haven't heard.)

I am now an ordained minister, and therefore given the legal right to perform marriages, baptisms, funerals, etc. in nearly all 50 states and in a goodly portion of the rest of the world.

pwnzored.

j.s.






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