The Meaty Efreeti

Friday, October 31, 2003

So...here I am...again. All my worldly belongings packed into 9 "spring fresh" scented kitchen tall bags...turntables riding shotgun...a small library of books stacked behind the front seats... You like to think you've gotten somewhere in life you know? That you're better now than you were a year ago. That the exact same circumstances have somehow improved... I think they have. But I couldn't say for sure. Don't get me wrong, I really like my new apartment. And I'm really excited about living on my own again and just taking care of myself. And perhaps this is all just that same fall/winter funk that I get into every year at this time. (If you don't believe me, check the archives...right around this date...) But something seems to be keeping me from getting too excited. Part of me is waiting for the pendulum to swing back the other way and crash through the stained glass life I'm building for myself. I think that's it. I think I haven't really had anything resembling my own life this past year, and now that I've made steps toward rebuilding it, I'm a little scared that it'll all come toppling down...again. Heh...never stopped me before though. So I move into my place tomorrow...and go see APC in the evening. I'll talk to you guys on Monday. Thanks for coming by. j.s.



I have also been made aware that the new Sarah MacLachlan album comes out on Tuesday... Not sure how that one got by me, I must be slipping in my old age... j.s.



Packin' it up. Glanced at the ol' bank account today... Man...not having to pay rent is awesome. I'm already broke. =[ S'okay, it'll be worth it once I move in. And for those of you who are going to APC tomorrow night, a semi-plan has begun to form in which we all meet up at my place and carpool from there. Oh and don't worry, all the moving will have been done by then, so I'm not trying to hornswaggle you into helping me relocate or anything. =] (That kinda hornswagglin's already been done.) See ya Saturday. j.s.

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

The Week That Keeps on Giving My God...it's only Wednesday...this week will never end. But on a cheerier note, today is my cousin Melissa's B-Day. (Have a ubah happy one 'Lissa!) It looks like I'm going to A Perfect Circle this Saturday night, right after I move in...which will be awesome. (D got me a ticket for the floor...a good brother that one.) Then there's The Matrix coming out on Wednesday of next week which I must order tickets for...then The Jealous Sound and Cursive at Numbers on Thursday... All wrapped up into the end-of-month madness that is the office, even without the build-out happening... And only 4 weeks until Thanksgiving! Which means 8 weeks until X-mas!!! And!! And!! pop Erk... fizzle ... j.s.

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Weekend Recap: Yeah, I know it's Tuesday, but it's the end of the month and I'm once again ridiculously busy at the office...I've already put in 17 hrs this week and it's not even lunchtime on Tuesday yet. I'll be honest here, my cerebral melty bits are getting muy gooey from being burned at both ends...I think I'm going to need a few days off, and that right soon. Okay, so Friday I went to sign my lease. It's official. I move in this Saturday. (Woot!) Then afterward, we went to the Aeros opener at the Concrete Cupcake. (a.k.a. "The Lump." a.k.a. "Toyota Center.") Aeros took a beatin', but it was a good thing I think as the crowds will thin a bit now. (There were about 9,000 people there, ridiculous for a Minnesota farm team hockey game.) Afterward I just went home and read for awhile...was good. Saturday I went for cawfee, then hit The Great Indoors and Ikea to get ideas about how to decorate the new apt. Found some awesome small suede cubes that would make great build-your-own chairs, a hand painted dinnerware set, and a raw linen shower curtain that I must have. Saturday night Luis, K. and I went out. We stopped into Mo'Mongs for a drink, and were promptly tossed out by a lisping attitude with a horrid hair dye job. "Thorry, we're like, SO clothed." We decided that it was actually because we weren't wearing enough black, and thusly scored low on the First Glance Pretentiousometer. So we bailed, and headed downtown to Dean's Credit Clothing. I really love that bar. It's a great mix of hipster chic and local comfy-ness that works just right for me. They showed the Gucci Fall/Winter runway show on the wall, had a really great Chianti, and had one of the coolest doormen I've ever met. The only flaw in the Dean's experience was the roaming costume party that made it's way in around midnight. And even that wasn't so bad...with the exception of the guy dressed up as the Incredible Hulk "RAAAARRRRR"ing every 5 minutes. Which was silly. Anyway, we took off from there around 1 or so...then hit Brasil for a little while to talk in an quieter environ, which was also good. House of Pies = cup o' joe and a cold grilled cheese at around 2:30, then headed home and crashed. Sunday was Gnomey Football, in which I trounced the first place team by 40 points. (Dominick Davis is awesome...) And last night a few of us went to D's house to watch MNF. Good weekend. Some pictures my Dad took of my apt. are up in the Picture Pages section, for those who care to check 'em out... Oh... and has anyone else noticed that the louder the music coming from a car, the worse it is? I mean, why don't people blare "They Might Be Giants," or "Portishead" from their stereos? No, it's always country, tejano, or some godawful hip hop. (Which I know is supposed to be a lifestyle and not a type of music, but that is, in actuality, just a marketing ploy for Ecko and Sean John.) Strange corollary. j.s.

Monday, October 27, 2003

I...I don't know what to say about this....read it for yourselves and decide whether or not God is happy about this film... Actor Struck by Lightning...twice.

Friday, October 24, 2003

I'm off to sign my lease (yay!)and then go to the Houston Aeros opener. (Yeah, it's just the Minnesota Wild farm team, but it's still hockey in Houston and I'll take it.) Don't really have much in the way of plans for this evening, but we'll see what comes up...perhaps I'll go downtown to a lounge, or hit Brazil...we'll see. I'll talk to you later... j.s.

Thursday, October 23, 2003

I'm attempting to do the ridiculous...and possibly unhealthy. I'm going to try to write a 50,000 word novel from midnight on Nov. 1st, to 11:59 on Nov. 30th for NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month. (As evidenced by my little tag thingy there at the bottom of the links section...) It's probably going to be utter crap, since rewrites are doubtful given the time frame...but it'll at least get me writing and working on a story that I really want to tell. "Rook" j.s.

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

This has been the longest day in the history of Wednesdays... I'm exhausted. I'm going home. =[ j.s.

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

I went to St. Germain yesterday at about 4 and they showed me the apartment I'd be renting...and I use the term "apartment" loosely...it was more like a closet with a sink. It did have antique hardwood floors...and an awesome shade of red in the bathroom...but that's about the only nice things I can say about it. The windows were 1'x1' holes cut in the top of the wall, the closet was a rickety, sliding mirrored door, (there was simply no way my wardrobe was going to fit in it), and the "kitchen" was in actuality just a wall o' appliances which faced the only other room in the apartment...I wouldn't even have been able to section off a living area and a sleeping area, there simply wasn't enough room for either. "Yes. I'd like to go now please. Thank you." So, as I step outside, I dial Alexan Lofts. I tell the leasing agent I'm ready to sign, and off I go, down about 8 blocks. Signature, signature, initial, initial, signature... Then she informs me that while I'm filling out my paperwork, she's going to check my credit "real quick" and needs my Social Sec. #. Erm...oh no. So I tell her, and she's looking me up on her computer. My handwriting starts to get a little jittery... "Oh!" "Um...what?" "You've placed in our 'high credit' category...you can stop filling that out now." "Er...is that good?" "Yes. We don't need anything else but your deposit. Welcome home Mr. Shaw." "Oh...wow...okay...awesome." I look down, and the next question is the one about whether or not I have ever been evicted from a residence... POW! dodge ZING! So that's it. I now live right next to Minute Maid field downtown...I'm supah excited. The only kicker is that there's construction starting next door, (they're building more condos over there) and there is apparently a working set of train tracks that goes right by the outside of the building...but having grown up in Katy, the sound of a train just doesn't bother me. =] So...anyone want to help me move? I only have one carload of stuff, and it's nearly all clothes. Might take 45 minutes to unload. Anyone? =] I have a home again....words can't describe... j.s.

Monday, October 20, 2003

Also, I'm very near to finding my new apartment. The choice is between a loft in a place called St. Germain, which is right downtown, walking distance to the theatre district, clubs and restaurants...but has a really bizarre hallway scheme. Looks like a rejected set from Beetlejuice. Black and white checkered tiles, high ceilings, and day-glo orange inverted triangles painted around each doorframe...and small granite torches that denote the apartment number. Might just be crazy enough for me...=] The other is Alexan Lofts, which is a very cool converted warehouse apt. that is on the other side of the baseball park...which means it is also not walking distance to anything cool downtown...at least not safely. Oh, and there's one more I'm supposed to look at called Humble Tower which is attached to the Marriott downtown. I haven't been by that one yet, but apparently there's valet parking for residents and guests there. Aweschome. So! It could be quite soon when I'll have a place of my own, depending on my walk-throughs this afternoon at 4:00. We'll see. Yay! j.s.



I went to see the new "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" last night. It was...not bad...but not scary. There were several scenes that were pretty cognizant...and very much stolen from other films. "Silence of the Lambs," "Se7en," "The Blair Witch Project," and many Nine Inch Nails/Tool videos made appearances...along with unexpected Hitchcockian perspectives and angles. I especially liked the scene with the bleeding toes over the piano actually...as gruesome as it was, it was still art...and only a smidgen over the top. Busy. I'll post a bit more later. j.s.

Thursday, October 16, 2003

When I think of Gwenyth Paltrow, I just don't associate her with Sylvia Plath. Pink birthday candles and happy clapping, yes. Dark, suicidal poets? No. Nevertheless, Gwen has been cast as Ms. Plath in the film prosaically monikered, "Sylvia." Was Winona Ryder "shopping" when the casting call when out or what? j.s.



Game 7. Red Sox/Yankees. 7pm. Tonight. That is all. j.s.

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

The Missouri Review reads the Meaty!! However they took my joke to a ridiculously pretentious level, thus making it...really...not funny at all. =] j.s.



I'm very tired of the build-out that's happening in the office this past week. I'm also tired of being yelled at as if I am the one pulling the strings behind said build-out. That, coupled with other stressors here at the office are making me quite irritable...which showed in my inability to get out of bed this morning. I just couldn't bring myself to do it...and stayed there until 10:00...a la Fandango. And that's bad. The sleepin' in did cure the sickness funk that was coming on strong in my respiratory system however, so that's a bonus. And today at 3:00, the Red Sox are playing what might be their last game of the year, if they lose to the Yankees...everyone keep zhem in your pozitive schpirits today pleez. Zhank you. 10/9/03 Thank God for miracle Further proof that the world is going to hell in a handbasket? Celine Dion and Anne Geddes (yes, the creepy photographer lady that takes freakish pictures of small children in flowerpots, bug costumes and in various and sundry other unsettling scenarios) are teaming up, with Sony fronting the bill, to create a something called "The Miracle Project." I think I'm going to be sick... j.s.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Kill Bill. What can I say about Kill Bill. Other than it was perhaps one of the most boring, self-indulgent and ridiculous films I'd seen in a very, very long time. The Tarantino Genre Frappe. A little bit martial arts, a little bit western, a little bit "Charlie's Angel," and a little bit rock-n-roll. Entirely stupid. I knew it was going to be a long 2 hours from the very start of the film, the ultra close-up of Uma's finger pressing the doorbell to a ludicrous, over the top suburban tract home. Banal Qwenty! Bad Qwenty! The "Dan Akroyd does Julia Childs" spraying blood effect...awful. (The sad part is, I'm not exaggerating, but rather understating the special effect. Blood erupted out of severed heads and limbs in hissing geysers.) The dialogue was robotic and contrived. And so Uma was always Uma, and never her character, whose name was "Black Mamba" I think. (I swear to Christ I'm not making this up.) I'm afraid I just didn't buy Ling as the head of the Yakuza either. C'mon...would you? And then there was the ENORMOUS, bulbous, hawk schnoz on the schoolgirl character (I think her name was "Go Go,") which never failed to pull me out of each and every goddamn scene she was in. I mean seriously guys... The casting director must've been Cyrano de Bergerac in order to have not have seen this thing. Any normal person would've thanked the nos..er...girl, told her to go home, and then have been filled with an irresistable desire for Froot Loops. You know, I honestly can't come up with a single redeeming thing to say about this film. And I'm really trying now... Hmmmm.... I can say that Quentin still knows how to film action scenes well. And those were just fine and dandy...all 700 of them. However, fight choreography does not a movie make, despite the assurances of the governor of California. Awful...just awful. I think the only reason critics said they liked the film was because they thought it might make them look stupid and bourgeois if they didn't... "I got reamed on that whole "Mulholland Drive" thing and I'll be damned if I'm letting another one I don't understand get by me without giving it my 7 supah star spurs of cowboy thumbs up, goseeit approval. A triumph!" And the worst part is, there's going to be at least 1 more of these celluloid monstrosities. We only made it halfway through her 2nd grade, Judy Bloom, "I hate you Fudge" list. God help us all. j.s.

Saturday, October 11, 2003

Went to go see "Intolerable Cruelty" last night. And while I felt it was a little slow in places...and VERY predictable in places, it was still a Coen brothers film, and as such had the typical genius characterization filling archytpical, classic story roles. (Wheezy Joe was awesome.) The protagonist once again had vanity as his fatal flaw, this time it was Clooney's teeth however, not "mah hair!" The "sage" character also made a revisit, this time in the form of a first-class flight attendant we never get to actually see. And there were several others I'm sure, if I felt the urge to go digging. Which I don't really feel like presently. Instead I'm going to take my laundry in to have it cleaned, watch some Bo'Sox baseball this afternoon, and take it easy all day. You should too. See ya, j.s.

Thursday, October 09, 2003

Yes...so I'm certain I've mentioned that the Bushie is a bit of an addled egg right? And that the horizon of his mind is blissfully devoid of synaptic fireworks, hmmm? Well, it seems that he just so happens to also be a poet, evidenced by his wife's reading of one of his poems to KICK OFF Monday's "National Book Festival" in D.C. And I'd like to take this time to both retract my previous slights against The Bushie's obvious mental handicaps, and share that poem here, for all of you. Ready? Here we go. Ahem... Roses are red Violets are blue Oh my, lump in the bed How I've missed you. Roses are redder Bluer am I Seeing you kissed by that charming French guy. The dogs and the cat, they missed you too Barney's still mad you dropped him, he ate your shoe The distance, my dear, has been such a barrier Next time you want an adventure, just land on a carrier. ~~George W. Bush~~ President of the United States of America I...I admit defeat. I was mistaken Mr. Bush. You are a goddamn genius. Observe the Southern colloquial diction, the utterly original syllabic rhyme patterns which slyly, almost self-indulgently, allude to a more simplistic meter, the anaphora of color schemes, symbolic of the longevity and perseverence of the American flag... I could go on and on. j.s. p.s. This, coupled with California's election results, are pushing me harder than ever to get the hell out of this country. I don't belong here. Neither do you. This is no longer an America for the likes of us. It's oozing to the slats with lemmings, simpletons, rednecks, puritanical hypocrites and Oprah's Book Club members. As much as I hate to say it, I think Johnny Depp has the right idea. To simply go stand on the other side of the world and gawk at the American trainwreck until it's cleaned up and it's safe to come back.

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

So let it be written... If the Red Sox win this series against the Yankees...I am leaving Houston in a rented SUV with "Fenway or Bust" on it, and driving to Boston for the week of the World Series...where I will sleep in said SUV outside Fenway. It'll be beautiful. j.s.

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

I was completely drained after watching last night's game...but we won. Thank God. The Gnomes however, have been handed their 3rd straight loss this week. And the Asshat of the Week award goes to Tommy Maddox for sucking so horribly and costing me the game you Fu(\|<1/\/' LOSER. I got 0 points for that jobber. 0!!! Sigh... Okay, I'm exhausted...going home. j.s.

Monday, October 06, 2003

So it comes down to this. Game 5. Red Sox vs. A's in Oakland. Starting in 20 minutes. Winner plays the goddamn Yankees in the AL Championship Series. Loser goes home and thinks about it for the next 7 months until next season. Please Red Sox...Please... j.s. God I love playoff baseball.

Sunday, October 05, 2003

Okay...so I actually went to my 10-year H.S. reunion pre-party last night at Fox & Hound. It was like being in a horrible nightmare. One where you are surrounded by people you vaguely recognize, yet can't quite place their name...and, for some reason, you're sure that you don't much care for them. The rest is the usual cliches about single person going to a reunion...everyone's married, has kids, a house, an SUV and are reveling in their domestic duties, so I won't bore you with them here. What I didn't expect, was to be bombarded by people who carry Encyclopedia Brittanica-sized photo albums with prosaic pictures of said spouses, children, houses and gargantuan automobiles. It was awful. The only positive side of the whole experience was that I got to see how everyone had ballooned into strange proportions these past 10 years...the most notable being an old ex-girlfriend of mine. We'll call her "Melissa." =] Melissa was enormous...(and of course was married with 2 kids, a house and an SUV) Bullet dodged. Matrix style. I'm getting pretty good at that. But I wonder if the day will come when they stop shooting? Anyway, there were the obligatory "Are you married?"-s and the "So what have you been up to all this time?"-s and such. The first one is easy. The second...well...I thought about it the first time it was asked...and decided I wasn't even going to attempt to tackle the subject with folk who have rarely left Katy, Texas and are now married to their high school sweethearts. (Yes, many of them were. Sickeningly wholesome in'nit?) So I smiled, said "you know, little of this, little of that...graduated from school...that kinda thing." And that seemed to satisfy them perfectly. Then caught up with Luis and K. at TGI Fridays and headed over to Hush, the ubah club on I-10 I mentioned many posts ago. Same lame atmosphere there. Total lack of identity there at that club...and I'm developing quite a distaste for it. Anyway, today was very mellow. I read for most of the day, then watched the Sox game. (Trot Nixon is a goddamn sexual tyrannosaurus!) And, basking under the radiant glow that was a decisive Red Sox win in the 11th inning, I went out for a beer with a smile on my face and a Sox cap on my head. I meant to go to Fox and Hound, and ended up at Sam's again for no reason at all. 2 beers, 3 kisses on the cheek later by a very presumptious bachelorette party, and a horrible cover of "Keep Your Hands to Yourself" by the Georgia Satellites, and I'd had enough. So here I am. Posting the events of earlier for public consumption. And if there's one piece of advice I could relate to you all, it's this. Go to your 10 year high school reunion. If nothing else, it is most assuredly a night you will never forget...despite how much you might like to. And honestly, aren't those what life is all about? j.s.

Friday, October 03, 2003

Happy Birthday Meaty Efreeti!!! Yay! One whole year! fanfare It was 365 days ago when the M.E. started with that simple, yet foreboding post, "Let's test this little bugger out shall we?" And it's been all downhill from there. 3 states, 3 homes, 3 jobs, and a lot of mileage on Opal the Car later..and I'm still writing on this ridiculous thing. I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. And if you haven't, what are you still doing here? Regardless, thank you all for reading/commenting/demanding posts this past year. Anything that keeps me constantly writing is a good thing, and many of you have pushed me to keep at it, even when I didn't really feel like posting or didn't think that I had anything to say. (Oh, and thanks for ignoring the many vapid, airy posts during which I really didn't have anything to say, and posted anyway.) God knows what the next year will bring...but I'm sure this is where it will eventually end up, for better or worse, whatever it is. Here's to the M.E. clink Now, in other news, I have finally emerged from the pile of paper relatively unscathed, and am MORE than ready for a weekend off. Exactly what I'm going to do with said weekend, I have no idea. Although my H.S. reunion starts informally tonight at the Fox & Hound bar on Westheimer...morbid curiosity just might get the better of me and I could swing by for a peek. Or I could sit at Brasil most of the night, finish my book, and perhaps write for awhile. Hard to say. I will not be here in the office however, and right now I feel that's what's most important. On the YardGnome front...the Gnomes play the #1 ranked team in the league this Sunday, and I've started all kinds of weird backup/reserve players...aiming for a miracle here. Rub your rosaries. I'm sure I'll have plenty to say about it Sun. night. Take care everyone, and hey, thanks again for playing along with the M.E. this past year. If no one was reading this, I'm certain I wouldn't have kept it up as long as I have. You only have yourselves to blame. =] j.s.

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

Beware! Odd post below that contains vagaries of a...personal...nature. The easily offended may wish to skip over this post. That being said. There are some odd little moments in life... The moment when you're driving and realize you've inadvertently cut someone off, and you debate whether to be hard and ignore the person, or wave in an apologetic fashion. You decide the latter, and put on a mean, "I'm ignoring you" face. The moment after a masturbatory post-orgasmic bliss subsides, and instead of a picture/video of a beautiful, sexy, buxom woman in front of you, you see a slightly-overweight, probable drug addict, minor porn star...naked...and bent into an otherwise silly looking position...and there was never anything remotely sexual about it at all really... Or when you pass by someone, and their "First 5 Seconds" rule sums up with an obvious "Yes. Yes I would." But you're both moving in opposite directions, and by the time you surmise this person is interested in you, you've passed by them. Undeterred however, your mind, and then your face, still play out the smile that you should've given the passerby a scant second ago...for no ones' benefit but your own. Or when you're in the bathroom stall, finishing up the bizness of wiping and preparing to exit and wash your hands...when suddenly the sanctity of an otherwise empty bathroom is violated by the sound of a door being pushed violently open. And you pause...and take a longer time in "getting ready" than needed, until the invader has left the restroom. And somewhere in your head you realize that you do this simply so the other gentleman won't be able to assign a face to the lingering scent of intestinal refuse that is undoubtedly clinging to the room.... j.s.



You might've noticed that I added an "Efreetic" section there under the logo. It's basically just random stuff that I'm spending my hard-earned lettuce on and am rabidly consuming. (I PUN!) Eventually I'll get around to linking them to author/band/purchase sites, but for now I'm still doing my damndest to set this number pad on fire via friction due to all the work still to do. taptapittytaptapittytaptaptaptaptaptapittytapittytap j.s. p.s. D wrote an excellent short blurb on A Perfect Circle on their website; it's under "Album Reviews" somewhere. He posted as "Odom." You should go check it out.

Our Terrorist Alert Muppet is...

Terror Alert Level

Take the MIT Weblog Survey