The Meaty Efreeti

Tuesday, September 30, 2003

Heyyyyyy KIDS!!! (Sorry...Binky the Clown moment.) I'm supah busy busy. So no posty posty for the next few days unfortunately...it's the end of the month and I'm inundated under so much paper I look like the albino version of "The Trash Heap" from Fraggle Rock. (Leave no early childhood reference left unturned.) I did get my Lamy fountain pen today, (that's mine at the top,) so now I'm a fully equipped writer again, sans the laptop of course...which will be the next big purchase. You'll all know when I get it because I'll be extoling the virtues of "A grande coffee in a venti cup, and the rest filled with soy milk" whilst posting. =] I'll hollah. j.s.

Monday, September 29, 2003

GODDAMMIT!!!! I was up by 15 going into the game tonight and all the guy I was playing had left was Anthony Thomas...the running back for Chicago who hadn't scored more than 5 points all season so far. Tonight he decides to run for over 100 yards with one touchdown for 67 yards. 19 points. Gnomes lose. I went from being tied for first to being in a 3 way tie for 4th. You know, fantasy football is ridiculous...you might as well argue, research and debate over a coin flip all week, flip it once every Sunday, and become ecstatic or heartbroken over the results. Then go back to pondering what it might come up as next Sunday. I'm really crushed right now...if you can't tell. j.s.



Yay! My Moleskine notebook came in today! It really does have an awesome feel about it. It's the perfect size to fit easily in a bag, and the pages have a smooth, creamy feel to them...I love it. I'm really trying to write more outside of the M.E. now. I mean, writing on here is great and all, but I always feel like I have to use the same voice on every post here or it makes for strange reading, as you may have noticed. Also, it isn't very conducive to drafting short stories or jotting notes for a couple of novel length ideas that have been kicking around my head for awhile now. The Moleskine seems to be a much better venue. =] And no, it's not made of moleskin. At least I don't think so... j.s.



Friday night was relatively uneventful. The only oddity was some hirsute little Greek man who was attempting to convince us he was an ordained Catholic priest. He wanted to "start a controversy" by marrying Luis and I. (And also wanted to take pictures of the post-ceremony to sell on his 2 porn sites.) Strange, dwarven-looking little man. Saturday was pretty low key, mostly a hangover recovery morning/afternoon, and then GattiTown being the highlight of the evening. (Think Chuck E. Cheese with a buffet and no animatronic purple gorillas and you'll be on track.) Sunday I got up early and drove back to Houston for the Texans game...which was awesome. I must find a J.J. Moses jersey. (Especially when we eventually go up against Washington, Moses vs. Ramsey!) Okay, talk to you later. j.s.

Friday, September 26, 2003

I am in CS now, typing on some damnable commie browser...Opera or something like that. The College Station Experience has already begun, as I am sipping a cold Budweiser out of a BURGERwhilst I type. Driving out here is always scary for me. As too much time alone in the car tends to lend itself to strange thoughts and minor hallucinations...like giant purple and black spiders that live under those short "bridges" that span creeks...and every so often when they feel the tension of a car passing by they whip out like a trapdoor spider, nab a car, and drag it under the overpass...or houses that have developed too much "love" for their tenants and now keep them forever trapped inside their unholy, yellow-glowing windows, and it never occurs to these folks to leave...or...bah. You'll read about some of them someday...in hardback...for $29.95 from Amazon.com. =] But for now, there's boozin' to be done. And cute ears to marvel over. bounce bounce j.s.



Also I'm not going to comment on a certain "irresistable" pop singer's death today...as it was o'ershadowed by George Plimpton's passing today. At least in my book. I PUN! j.s.



So...it appears I am making the trek to College Station once again for a weekend of collegiate-level drinking and woogyness. Begins to get nervous. Last time I was there I hung out with someone who sucked all night, and then was lambasted as being "shallow" by someone else. =] In the interest of topping that, this time I'm doing the polka with Martha Stewart and the guys from "Queer Eye" are going to rip apart my look. Join us won't you? j.s.

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Also, Next Friday marks the 1st year anniversary of the Meaty Efreeti!!! One year...wow... Crazy how much has happened. OH! And I decided what was going to go on the M.E. T-Shirts. They're going to be customizable!!! The logo will be on the front in the center, and "Purveyors of fine _______ to the gentry since 2002." written in Times New Roman font (in red) on the back. Along with "www.meatyefreeti.com" underneath it. So, if you want one, just drop me an email and let me know what you'd like put in the "_____" and I'll silk screen it on. Special. Just for you. I haven't priced this little endeavor yet...I'll post more about it once I've solidified the process a little more. Yeah. Don't everybody jump at once now... cricketscrickets** =] j.s.



Sickness...fading. Had to happen eventually. Yay! I don't know if there's a better feeling in the world than the day you wake up and realize you're getting over sickness. It's awesome, and gives me an all new respect for those with terminal illnesses who are fighting through them. They wake up every day sick. And know they'll never get better. =[ Ick...okay, moving on. I'm very upset at Everquest currently. I'm not sure if I can continue to give those folks my money just to ruin my evenings like they did last night. Bugs galore in that game, and overall laziness on the part of the game designers has manifested in non-sensical items and imbalance. (Yeah, so I'm a geek. Sue me.) Also, my ad that I made for my company got screwed up royally by the printers. (Put a space in the middle of the company name, used an "&" instead of a "+," and didn't put the company name in the proper font. All because apparently, "We don't send out proofs of our ads." Asshats. End of month is rolling around again, so I'm about to be slammed again with things to do. Postin' could be sparse next week. We'll see. j.s.

Monday, September 22, 2003

I'm not feeling any better...but I thought I'd at least post a bit before I bug outta here for the day and go watch MNF. Chinstrapped YardGnomes suffered their first loss this season to Sexual Chocolate. (Derek's team.) And it was the first in what will probably be several losses since my starting runningback (Marshall Faulk) broke 2 bones in his hand on Sunday. The gnomey outlook is bad, but we're hopeful that some of our other starting gnomes will pick up the slack. McGnabb the Gnome was over at Derek's desk, since he earned the right to keep him for a week. But it seems McGnabb was ill-behaved and was...ahem...befouling things around his desk. So Derek brought him back. What he didn't realize is, McGnabb will not tolerate a loss, and will not stand beside the loser. So now he's hiding inside his file drawer to scare the berjabbers out of him tomorrow morning when he goes to get his files. Can't wait. We're all heading over to my Dad's place to watch the game tonight as Russell and D. still have players to play in other leagues. This weekend was pretty laid back, as they have been pretty often of late. Just went to get coffee and wrote for awhile on Friday night (when I was starting to get sick) Saturday I was really starting to sicken and propped myself up with some DayQuil to make it through. Hung out over at Russell's for awhile, then headed home. On Sunday I was a mess, and lay in a daze on Russell's couch, watching my Gnomes get romped. Then hung out with Luis that night and had a State of the Union talk about our lives (and others) over coffee. Was good. Hadn't done that in awhile. Okay, it's 6:30 and the traffic seems to be letting up a bit outside so I'm going to fight the masses on I-10 and head home. Speaking of which, I've started the Countdown to Relocation. (CTR) I will be out of Katy no later than November 1st. Giving me only 5 weeks of time to find an apartment and save up another 1k or so to get myself moved... Eep. j.s.



I'm very sick. I'll post when I get feeling a little better. =[ j.s.

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Yay! The Meaty has a logo! Next up, Meaty MERCH! =] Let the world know how cool I think I am with a "Meaty Efreeti" beanie cap! =] j.s.

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

It's 7th on Sixth week in NYC, in case any of you care. =] The Lollapalooza of American fashion starts tomorrow, where somewhere around 50-60 designers march their Fall lines (not this Fall silly, next Fall) across runways around Manhattan. Michael Kors, Bill Blass, Narciso Rodriguez, Vera Wang, Kenneth Cole, and even my 2nd greatest nemesis in life, Betsey Johnson, are some of the many that have shows. (Jerry Lewis is my arch-nemesis, in case you were wondering.) Kinda strange, I used to be riveted to E! around this time to see what the new designers were putting out, who was going to be hot for next season, and who employed a collection of badgers and circus seals to design for their house. This year, I haven't followed it at all. I suppose this makes sense since I used to have a large pool of people around who cared about this stuff, and now, well now I simply work for a living. I did see that Thalia's new line is out...and it is being sold exclusively at...drumroll K-Mart. What the hell is happening to the industry? First Target revamps their mission statement to include "any designer name that has sold more than 5 units in the past 20 years," and now K-Mart has joined the fray. I swear to you, this mass-market trend will be the downfall of American fashion design. I think I may have ducked out at the right time. What's next? The new Donna Karan line exclusively in Winn/Dixie? BCBG, only at 7/Eleven. The thing is, we were just starting to get a bit of world-wide recognition in the past decade or so as creating some quality garments. Oh well, it's only the CFDA I suppose. (Council of Fashion Designers of America.) The rest of the world still has a easy grip on where their garments should be sold. Like I needed another reason to shop Armani, Hugo Boss and D&G. j.s.



So I have gotten the M.E. logo from my friend in Utah, (Thanks again DaQ) and now I've just to amass enough discretionary income so as to be able to afford the $350 per year for my new version of the M.E., to be hosted on a "real" server. Still working on that one...we'll see what I can finagle tomorrow. The logo is awesome though. =] I've felt a little under the weather today, attempting to fight off that bug that is going around I think...hope I win. I did pick up the new "A Perfect Circle" CD today, and I really, really like it...despite it's obvious commercial appeal. (Which, in my estimation, IS in fact a drawback to many CDs.) It's called "Thirteenth Step," which could possibly be a reference to 12 step programs, (the Thirteenth Step is when you go out into the world and recruit new members who need help) or, it could have absolutely nothing to do with that and just be called that since the number 13 is obviously cool. (There ARE only 12 songs on the album though...) My favorites on it: "The Package," "The Noose" and "Pet." Although, I think the coolest part about this CD is the amalgamation of talent that went into it. (James Iha from Smashing Pumpkins, Twiggy from Marilyn Manson, Josh Freese from about a million other bands, Billy Howerdel who was mostly a tech/sound guy, and of course, Maynard from Tool.) Together they formed this complex puzzle of music elitism and snobbery that can be picked apart...and thusly each members contribution exposed and argued over. Or, it can simply be listened to as the alchemical golem of musical talent that it is, and enjoyed just the same. Probably more actually. Um...yeah. So, basic recap is...if you dug the first APC CD, this one is definitely worth picking up. And remember kids, if you download it, and you like it, then go buy the album. (Best Buy had this one for $9.99) Fuck the RIAA. Don't let them decide for us all...just because some bastards are cheap. j.s.

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

Why, why, why do we need 8 new television shows about forensics? Have we really run out of ideas for new shows, or has the American telewatching public grown so pre-programmed (I PUN!) as to only want to see the same things, rehashed, reheated and re-served week after week? Speaking of which, did anyone else get a giggle out of the "Threat Matrix" ad? You know, the "every morning, the President reads one thing..." one? Yeah. One thing... Green Eggs and Ham. "I do not like that damn Sad-dam." "I do not like that Bin Laden man." "I do not like them on a plane." "I do not like Afghanastayn." "I do not like their hidey-holes" "I do not like them with my oil." Okay, I'm going to bed. G'night everyone. j.s. P.S. YARDGNOMES WIN 96-85!!! Woot!!!

Thursday, September 11, 2003

Ack! And I forgot to post the Gnomes score! Chinstrapped Yard Gnomes: 70 Ball Smashers: 53 Woot! 1-0 to start the season. And this weekend your Gnomes battle... The Christian Crackwhore Ministry Pray for us... j.s.



Oh, I also forgot to mention that it is nearly impossible for me to move my arms currently. You see, I went to Bally's to work out. And apparently for my "first work out with us," I have to use a Personal Trainer/Sadist. These people are now one step above physical therapists in my Hate Book. The guy proceeded to berate me for being in Utah for 5 years, then tried to assure me that I do in fact want to be "huge man...huge...you have the frame for it...trust me...we're going to make you huge." He then become angered at the fact that my breakfast consists of a grande coffee with soy milk and an Oat n' Honey granola bar, and that I don't eat 6 meals a day, (I'm not making this up.) Yes, he became so disapproving of my lifestyle that he apparently deemed me worthy of 4 days of searing arm pain, and we solely worked out my shoulders, triceps and upper back. Thus ensuring that I would not return to the gym until NEXT Monday, upon which I will pelt said Physical Sadist with egg whites and oatmeal. j.s.



So...that date looks kinda creepy huh? Hard to believe it's been only 2 years. Seems like it was a lot longer ago...at least it does to me. I AM heartened by the fact that our gov't hasn't created a national holiday around this yet. (Can you imagine "Remembrance Day" or "Patriotism Day" or something equally as awful?) Regardless, the date hit me pretty hard this morning...and I guess you just can't help but remember that day, where you were, what it felt like... I wonder if it will be like that every year? j.s.

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Did you know that world peace costs a scant 87 Billion (thanks H.) American taxpayer dollars, per country? I sure as hell didn't. And I'm not buying it. j.s.

Monday, September 08, 2003

Okay... So Friday, after work, I went to get my haircut and brows de-bushied. Luis and K. came to Houston around 11ish, so we went out to Sam's Boat, had a few drinks, listened to a terrible cover band do their renditions of Ginuwine, Don Henley, Sublime and R. Kelly. (Awful...just awful...) The "scandalous boozy sluts" were in beer-soaked abundance. Basically Sam's on a Friday night. And we all know how that can get. The kicker is, I think Sam's is finally starting to die a slow death. At least at night. That part of Richmond has become a pretty scary place after 11:00. (I blame "T Town: The Club of Random Shootings, Stabbings and Death," personally.) So the clientele at Sam's Boat has both dwindled in number, and plummeted in regard to their...erm...social value. Kinda sad really. Anyway, after Sam's we hit the House o' Pies and geeked out over D&D reminiscing. Good time. Saturday I basically just hung about the backyard, reading in the hammock and dipping my feet in the pool every so often. Then ran over to Katy Mills Mall and picked up a few workout T-shrits from Banana Republic. (I hate working out in old, faded, logo-ed t-shirts. I much prefer the black/gray stretch cotton ones. Supah comfy and look great when you're done working out. =] ) I went to go see "Pirates of the Caribbean" again at about 10:00 since I really didn't have anything else to do and my eyes were burning from reading all day. Honestly, it wasn't nearly as entertaining as when I saw it the first time, and I found myself starting to nod off through the slower parts of the film. Stuck through it, then went home and crashed. And then...there was... SUNDAY! THE FIRST SUNDAY OF THE NFL SEASON!!! fanfare Got up around 9:30, and drove over to the Starbucks in Katy Mills. To my horror, I was informed that "Our machine is broken. We're out of coffee." A coffee shop. With no coffee. And they're still open. Doesn't anyone see how this is a bit off? Everyone has STOPPED DRINKING COFFEE and has substituted their caffeine needs with Venti Triple Nonfat Cappucino MochaChocaLatte...Yaya. Which is basically a bunch of sugar, milk, and some interesting added chemicals borrowed from Philip Morris. None of them are made with coffee, or anything resembling coffee. Diggydiggydiggy...BUCKS must be stopped! Also, I don't quite get why it is necessary to give me 2 cups and a sleeve with every drink. Um...correct me if I'm mistaken...but the whole point of a sleeve is so we don't have to waste an entire cup to keep our coffee from burning our hands right? Right. So what's the point of giving me 2 cups AND a sleeve? As a convenient handle? Is the cylindrical contanier itself not handy enough? (I PUN!!!) We now require lots of layering, a good pensa digitalis, and complementary coloration in our beverage cups? Seriously folks... Next time, just take one cup from the little Starbucks guy. You will have just halved the amount of garbage you normally create every morning. And won't that 45 minute drive to work feel so much better having that knowledge? =] Um...wow...I kinda derailed there... Okay, So, Sunday, I got coffee, winces and looks around and then whew I headed over to Russell's house to watch the Sunday Ticket. I got there with Derek about 5 minutes behind me. It was an awesome, awesome sight to behold REAL football once again. And in that vein...you must ALL root on Tampa Bay tonight. The Chinstrapped Yardgnomes are 23 points ahead of their opponents, and the only "player" the "Ball Smashers" have left is the Philadelphia Defense, which plays MNF tonight. C'mon and get behind your local gnomes! (Even you Philly fans...it's okay if Philadelphia wins the game, their defense just needs to suck and Tampa Bay needs to not turnover the ball.) I'll post the score tomorrow. GNOMES! GNOMES! GNOMES! GNOMES! GNOMES! J.S.



Yay Houston Texans! Miami suxxors! =] Heh, had to get that out...will post more a bit later. j.s.

Friday, September 05, 2003

The day I missed in Driver's Ed: "You are only allowed to look at the bumper/taillights of the automobile in front of you, and/or the fenders/tires of the automobiles to your frontal 45 degree periphery while sitting in rush hour traffic on the freeway. Mutual eye contact with the humans directly to the left and the right of you is socially awkward and therefore prohibited." You know, people actually seem angered and unnerved by the fact that I look over at them and smile while we're at a stop on the freeway. I have yet to get a smile back from ANYONE. They just look quickly away like, "Ohp, ohp! Crazy man in an Eclipse...smiling like a retarded chimpanzee at me...and I can't escape! Damn. Doesn't he remember the 45 degree rule? Okay. I'll just put my hands at 10 and 2 here...and look directly ahead with a stern look on my face in an attempt to both jog his driver's ed memory, and reinforce the fact that I am NOT going to look at him and smile back...nope, nope, nope....." We can all be so ridiculous. I love it. j.s.

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

Hi. I had a few minutes tonight, so I thought I'd say a quick hello. Still very little cookin' at present. Though I DID get my gym membership up and running today. Which is good since the urge to smoke has been skulking around my psyche again recently. When I work out, I don't want a ciggie. Funny. I also got my official invitation to the Katy High School 10 year reunion today in the mail. Eeeee.... Happens October 4th, at the Hyatt downtown. Sorry, but I just can't see myself shelling out $60.00 just to hang out with folks I couldn't stand 10 years ago, and that I'm quite certain I'd loathe today as well. And 2 little words have solidified this decision as I looked back over the flyer just now... "Cash Bar." Sixty bucks...to see such Mensans as the Broussards and the Tharps.... at a cash bar... in the Hyatt... Thank you. But I think I'll just sit down here on these broken lemon juice bottles and watch "The View" while chewing aluminum foil instead. It's an anthropological enigma how it is that I ended up the way that I am, despite spending my formative years here in Katy, TX anyway...the thought of returning into the fold of those people's coterie gives me the jibblies. (Here they come again...jibbly jibbly) Bleh. I'm going to bed. j.s.



In lieu of a "real" post today, I'm instead going to put up something I wrote a little while ago, and just recently saliva-thumbed some of the dirt off it's face. Hope you like it. A Prayer in Stone The rain falls in sheeted torrent, caressing the folds and crevices of the street in rivulets. High above, perched motionless against a lightning-lit sky, he sits, staring downward. The rain glides and slides over him and yet he still stands stoic, watching the street below with pensive stillness. He has seen you. He’s seen the furtive glances you’ve given attractive passer-bys, seen you smile sheepishly to yourself when you stumble, he’s counted your steps along with you, watched you inconspicuously dodge cracks in the sidewalk, and seen your pace shift to match the beat of a passing cars music… He sees every thought, every fault, every game, every day. He knows everything in you. Because he’s seen it before. And he will see it again long after you are gone. And all he wishes is to be noticed. To be thought of as he thinks of you. Because, one day, one of us will know how to set him free. One of us will break the angry, howling visage that is his face, and send him home. But don’t worry. When he goes, he will never forget you. And he will never tell a soul of the things he’s seen in you. I'm sharing personal "me" stuff. Be nice. j.s.

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

I don't think I'm going to listen to NPR anymore. I'm tired of hearing that I'm not allowed to be an activist since I'm both white and male. Very little happened this weekend...was pretty low key considering there was a holiday in there. Saturday was Jenny's B-day though. (Yay!) I mostly just geeked out and played a lot of EQ...hung out over at Dereks' place. Started looking around for apartments here. (S'pensive stuff.) Mom and Brent are here tonight, so I'll most probably go to dinner with them. (And if by chance, either of you are reading this...you'll note that I put the M.E. on your favorites on your new laptops, so you don't search on "The Company That Dare Not Speak It's Name" and further solidify the association between the two on search engines.) =] Seems like all I've been doing lately is working...pretty suckyWATT actually. But it's been WAY too hot to do much of anything outside all month. (Well, last month really, it's Sept. now.) I'm just waiting for it to cool down again so I can go back out and fly the kite again. Speaking of the heat, my seasonal zeitgebers are going bananas right now. Every morning, my internal calendar says, "Hey, it's cool outside, put on a lovely comfy sweater Jeremiah." And then I think about how hot it ACTUALLY is, and rummage through the T-shirt drawer instead. Being back in Texas for the first fall in 6 years is messing my head up. It's September dammit...it's supposed to be getting cold. I think I'm going to get to work on that...willing it to cool down over the next few days. will will will j.s.

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