The Meaty Efreeti

Friday, November 29, 2002

Right on D. Wow...that's in 2 weeks. Amy just squealed with excitement when I told her when you were coming..."yes, yes...very exciting." =] And yes, I'm done talking about the girly. I've no doubt that you know what you're doing...just thought I'd interject my 2 wooden sheckels on the matter. And that's about how much it's worth. And yes, for all those who are asking, I am indeed fine and here in Utah. The plans for ultimate midwest domination are beginning to percolate, but nothing is set in stone yet. I dropped off a resume at the new Virgin Super-Uber-Hyper-Double-Mocha-MegaStore that opened here in SLC a few weeks ago. Hadn't heard a thing back from them...so I called on Wednesday to see "If you'd received my application, were still hiring for the holidays, when the best time would be to come in and speak to a hiring manager, etceterahhh, etceterahhh." "Etwhatehwahh, etWHATehwahh?" Yes, 'tis true...my pseudo-clever Yul Brenner/King and I reference was lost on a guy that manages a music/movie store. How far we have fallen...shakes head sadly Anyway, I'm still staying with Todd and Amy and am in the process of finishing up my make-up papers and internship stuff before I crash headlong into a job search. (I've finished 6 of the 8 papers, and will finish the rest tonight and turn them in on Monday.) Since I havent' been to Logan yet, there is still a hold on my records due to old parking tickets...this also will be taken care of on Monday, so word on whether I've been accepted into the U will come after that...which will then precipitate a visit to Zions B. for a loan application. (I'm definitely not a guy with nothing to do...) Unfortunately, Todd does not have an Internet connection, so I'm typing from Kinko's right now to give a quick shout out and check up on things. This should explain my rare postings lately...I just haven't been able to find a connected computer. I promise to keep up with this as much as possible during my off-line time though. Be it from here at the Kinks or on Dave's or Jenny's computer. Connectivity will find a way. Thanksgiving was good. Bought a takehome pizza and some garlic bread, watched football and sat glassy-eyed and alone in front of Todd's T.V. Sounds depressing to most, but it really wasn't. It was exactly what I wanted to do...that and I was hungover. Okay, Amy is done with her copying and is waiting here, so I think it's time to head on. I'll post again as soon as possible and fill in more bits about exactly what I'm doing...you'll know as soon as I do. Take care all, talk to you soon... j.s.

Tuesday, November 26, 2002

So I just picked up my tickets to head to SLC this morning. Will be there from Thursday, Dec. 12th to Monday the 16th. Fly in towards the evening around 8 I think, and then leave in the afternoon. Something like 11am on Monday if memory serves. Anyhow, so that is taken care of. I have not heard from Heather, so I am assuming that whole rendezvous is off until further notice. Ah well, an exciting little flash in the pan to avert our eyes from the everyday. I might be making a second trip up there during the break as well, but I am not too sure about this one... involves one of my friends wanting to check out Salt Lake because he is thinking about dating a mormon girl who wants to move back home (ahh how the world is SO ironical sometimes). So that power move could be made right after Christmas and put me in SLC for New Years, but we will just have to see how that pans out. Work would be pissed as hell that I am missing Christmas break time and New Years in the same year, but what the hell are they going to do to me? I think that is about all that is fit to print, and I am pretty tired, so I am going to crash out. I will, however, have to ask that any further discussion about Heather be suspended until I am in a better mood about the whole ordeal though (just in case there was a rebuttal coming my way). The whole thing has really brought me nothing but anxiety and grief, so the sooner that I can discard this misstep as just that, the sooner I can get back to my previous rhythm. Good looking out, and believe me, I'll let everyone know as soon as I am no longer bitter (or as soon as she calls, whichever comes first). ~D~

Friday, November 22, 2002

Okay, I'm in Salt Lake safely. Now on to something much more important. Let me get this straight D, you got a couple phone calls from a girl you are very interested in, schedule time to go see her, and start planning what you'd like to do with her on a date...and now, on the grounds that she might break your heart, you're calling it off? Bad move little brother. That's the most direct route for regretting what might have been... Curse of the "if I'd just tried, what might have happened?" Trust me on this one. I know from whence I speak. Karina has been a regret of mine my whole life. (My only regret actually.) And it was a similar situation. (Except I screwed it up.) I was too afraid of being shot down to breach the gap between us until it was too late and she had made herself happy with someone else. Looking back, if I'd simply tried...I know things would be different. Take a cue from your older brother's mistake...I know I'm right about this D. And it's okay to have doubt about what someone will do with your affection when you give it to them freely... In fact I'd be worried if you didn't have any reservations about it. That's called desperation. And La Papa was reeking of it when I lived with her...which made her disgustingly unattractive. But that does not mean you don't try. Therein lies life, as trite as it may sound. Go after what you want and chase it with everything you have. Then at the end of the day, if you find yourself alone...you cannot say you didn't give it your all. And you can smile yourself to sleep in wait of what tomorrow brings. Yes she could stroll down to the local Smitty's and find a new boyfriend just as quickly as you could walk to Brazils and find a girlfriend or seven. That's the nature of things. Scary. But there will never be a time when that won't be a possibility... with anyone. Again, such is the nature of humanity. But this is not where your thoughts should lie D. What should be on your mind is....what if she doesn't? Try that one on for a few minutes and see if it doesn't make you smile. And I can't fathom why Heather wouldn't want a long-term relationship with you eventually my brother. You're a good man, constantly striving to make yourself better. You're brilliant, witty, and you've got your older brother's good looks. =] That being said, concern over whether she is "long-term" is a bit premature. Go out with her. Have a good time in SLC. (That's easy to do.) And if it's good, do it again. If it isn't, hell...you tried it and you'll know, and can go on with a clear conscience. I understand your mindset better than you know, and I know how hard what I'm saying is to do for men like you and I. But we're living in the alternative now and is this where you want to stay? j.s.



The "back fill" was tremendously written, Kim. It also provided a certain degree of "why not try" to my current situation, so I thank you for that. I suppose we can't just spend all of our time in our happy little cages we have built for ourselves, as we would be cheating ourselves from the worlds of others. I am slightly drunk and most disheartened this evening, so your words are much appreciated. Sleep should be had before I talk more about my evening and the thoughts comprised therein. ~D~



An interesting thougyht occurred to me through the course of my evening at Sky Bar in Houston tonight. So here it is: I had told myself that as far as my situation, or should I say potential situation, with Heather is concerned, I would remain positive yet not really expect anything to become of it. Now, having said that, I catch myself in a classic case of overcommittment to an idea that might be as fleeting as a phone call to an old friend. Not to say that negativity is washing over or anything, but I question whether the excitement is slightly one-sided. After all, I am dealing with someonhe that could easily stroll down to the local Smitty's and find herself a new boyfriend. Interesting predicament I have put myself into, and I assure you that the thought of removing myself from this place of potential harm has crossed my mind a number of times tonight. After waiting all of this time and putting so much effort into being able to make someone else happy, why would I want to go through all of this just on the (come on, let's be honest with ourselves) slim chance that Heather would want anything to do with a long-term relationship with me. Perhaps this is better looked at under the light of: she just broke it off with her boyfriend and found out that he was cheating on her, so she just wanted to hear a safe and friendly voice. I can believe that a lot faster than the situation which I have placed my head in presently. Anyhow, as I was walking around Sky Bar this evening and glancing over the scores of plastic women with their Gucci knock-offs and their spaghetti strap dresses, I couldnb't help but think that there has to be an easier way to find someone who is simply normal out there and who is just looking to be happy. I mean, come on. It is not a wonder that I keep to my regular hangouts on regular nights... these people were absolutely horrid tonight. All of these things come together to present the possibility to me that perhaps I am still not ready to be involved with anyone right now. I'll still talk to Heather on the phone and make sure she is happy, as that is what is really important to me. But all of that can be done from a distance, and can be done without the necessity for putting myself or her into a position where we can needlessly and unintentionally hurt one another in our ongoing growing process. I see no further purpose for this charade. I see no further purpose for this adjenda. I see no further purpose for further explanation. ~D~

Tuesday, November 19, 2002

And now, I'm on my way out of Houston, and on to Utah. My head is still swimming from the attitude switch involved in being in Houston for too long...which makes me not in any condition to sit and discuss things. I just need to go. With one more pit stop at James Coney Island...God knows when I'll have a chance to nab some of those dogs again. And they are some tasty mess... Next stop, Zion. Take care all. j.s.

Monday, November 18, 2002

Quick post from Dad's house...thinking Coney Island dogs and an oil change are the agenda for the afternoon. j.s.

Sunday, November 17, 2002

For those viewing remotely...I have arrived in Houston. And things are as strange here as ever...all the old distrust, paranoia and apathy comes flowing back in a heart-chilling ebb, and suddenly I remember why I left. Nasty place, this is. I've had enough already. Met up with the fam and had a good enough evening though, late dinner with the left side, early breakfast at IHOP with the right side, and now I'm back at Mom's, getting ready to crash before going to see the Houston Texans play tomorrow. (Yes I truly am back in Texas...not here 24 hours before attending a football game. Amazing.) It looks like Monday or Tuesday before I'll be getting out of here, but I'll know more on that as the weekend progresses. On that note, it's already late...and I've a game to attend tomorrow. G'night all, j.s.

Saturday, November 16, 2002

This is awsome, this is awsome. I never thought I would appreciate bad news as much as I have today. So here is what has happened to me in the last 24 hours: My cat passed away (dragged me way down), my bank card got eaten by a rogue ATM (at this point I was giggling yet still irritated), I was $25 short in my till at close at work tonight (cue insane laughter), and finally, right when I am setting the centre alarm at 1AM, the men's toilet pipe busts and floods the front of house floor (at this point I am forced to look into the trials of Job and laugh at my predicament for what it is... a streak of piss-poor luck in an otherwise really kookie life). And just like that.... I am fine. All I need right now is a roll of chocolate ship cookie dough to flood the rest of the problems away with indulgence, and a liter of Mott's AJ and I am straight. Besides... who am I to say when it is time for a cat to experience that big Catnip Field in the Sky? Now she can walk on Jesus' head when he tries to sleep... wench. Hehe. Good luck Josie. Avoid the pokie bits, girl. They hurt the most. ~D~

Thursday, November 14, 2002

Soundtrack to a Blog - "Proofs" by Mates of State (c'mon...you can see me singing along with the Moog in an empty house..."It hardly matters! MY WILL!!! It does not matter!" =] ) and "Most of the Time" by Bob Dylan (Fits really well for where I am right now...so what if it's Dylan.) and "Anne Arbour" by The Get Up Kids. (Awesome song...another treat from Brooke and Tim. Thanks guys. =] ) Well, since blogging from the road will prove difficult, this is going to be my last post for a bit...at least until I get to Houston to drop off the cat. As far as Heather goes...you know my opinion on her D. She's a sweet, intelligent, beautiful girl...and unfortunately they just don't show up (or call) that often. Don't let her become a regret simply for lack of trying. Cherchez la femme mon petit frere... cherchez la femme. But take that for what it's worth, after all, it's me talking here. The thing is, this time moving DOES have me down a bit though. It could just be residuals of being in a packed-up house, and when I'm in my car, finally speeding away from this place, it'll fade into a smile. It could be I'm mourning the "could have been" here. It could be that I'm making a mistake. Who knows...but I'm going to find out. (Yeah, grabassticism, I know.) And I've got to stop running eventually D. I'll be dead before I'm 40 if I don't. =] I mean, how long have I been a transient? Can you remember a time when I wasn't planning on leaving wherever I was at that moment? When I was simply content to be where I stood? No, neither can I. I said before that even when I was here, and working everyday, something still kept me from getting too comfortable. I constantly had one eye over my shoulder, waiting for the inevitable calamity, and for everything to fall apart...I just knew it would. (Self-fulfilling prophecy? Possibly.) And though living this way provides nothing but options and choices on what to do with one's life, it's every bit as taxing as living a "normal" life. Just in a different way. And unless I find someone to fund a "Jeremiah's 40 oz. to Freedom" world tour for me, where being random is all I have to do, I've gotta find something to anchor myself to...at least for a little while. (Maybe "tether" is a better word...) The thing is, moving to Baltimore and starting a life here DID take some effort though D. And grinding through the day to day here was definitely a chore. I'm assuming that's what REAL LIFE(tm) is like for most people. And to be honest, I hated it. It's a fool's game, and I for one want no part of it. And apparently the feeling is mutual, since it seems to want no part of me either. Besides, there's just no room for random kookiness and irresponsibility in a 9 to 5. "They expect results..." Throwin' a deuce, buh-bye. But what does that leave me with? It all makes sense, but I'm still talking in circles...welcome to being me. ... Anyway. Since I'm leaving a day early I didn't have time to clean the house as well as I would have liked either. I hate leaving a dirty apt. for Mom. =( Ack, and it's almost 4:00 here, and I still haven't moved everything to my car. Time to get going again. Take care everyone, talk to you all soon. Love, j.s. Brotherus Grabasticus "It's a dangerous business...going our your door. You step into the road, and if you don't keep you feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to..." ~B.B.~



Nah, you won't stop. I like to consider you Brotherus grabasticus. Haha. All joking aside though, Jer. I catch myself wanting to get back to Utah from time to time, and though people can say whatever they may regarding what they think this move disguises in your life, they have never lived in Zion... so they have no opinion of consequence. Hell, I told you about Heather, and I seriously think I would pack up my shit and head back to the Holy Land if she were to ask me. Priorities my man... jobs come and go, but happiness keeps us looking forward to the next moment. There... my fortune cookie cliche for the night. Hehe. I am sitting here with my sick cat sitting in my lap listening to Zero Authority's "One More Minute" and thinking about where I will be within the next 8 months. So many hills, bumps, and potential bruises in the mail for me... but nothing seems to get me down. Similar to you in that sense if I were to guess. People say we should care more and be worried about this and that... but it all seems to work out with minimal effort. Granted, if we want something done right, we have to do it ourselves. But for the day-to-day interactions and business... the public is more than welcome to that misery and I'll just sit back with you and watch the ant farm churn out its measurable "productivity". I've got nothing but smiles for this move in your life, bro. Don't be surprised to see a similar action if things persist with a certain someone out there. Until then though, I am always out here wondering where I went wrong with you ( ;-) ), and wishing you the very best. Love you brother, and I'll be seeing you sooner than later. ~D~

Wednesday, November 13, 2002

Last Night In Baltimore Red sweater and blue jeans, black adidas. The last of the laundry spinning in the dryer, the rest in garbage bags piled by the door next to the turntables and records. The tub has backed up and refuses to be plunged free...so I can't shower. List of things needed for the road is in my pocket. (granola bars...Triscuits...dry cat food...water...and a map.) Waiting on hold to cancel the DSL now. I haven't eaten all day. Just lit a cigarette instead. Old U2 is playing on Winamp. ("All I Want Is You," for those of you playing at home.) And me. Wondering what the hell I'm doing, and why I do this to myself... I hope I stop soon. j.s.

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

Okay, I'm opening a pretty serious can of worms by allowing people to talk back. Originally I hadn't wanted to do it. Basically because I didn't really care what anyone else thought of what I was writing...that and I liked the idea of a forced one-way streaming of information...from my noggin to my fingers to your eyes to your noggin. But, in the interest of allowing for family and friends to add support, critique and input, I've added the "Comments" section, where anyone who comes here can post us your own thoughts on these posts. Be kind. We are already quite aware of the fact that we suck. Thanks though. =] j.s.



*TIP: This blog is best read while listening to "Dissolved Girl" by Massive Attack. Download it, and you'll understand why.* Utah it is. Not that this is a huge surprise to anyone I'm sure. I kept trying to figure out what the "right thing to do" was, all the while applying to the U, getting my transcripts sent there from Blinn and HCC, and not wholeheartedly looking for a job here in Baltimore. (I have parking tickets at USU, there's a big fuckin' surprise so my transcript is on hold there...have to pay them when I get back to Zion.) I guess choosing to going to Utah is the right thing, Mormon propaganda notwithstanding. And if it isn't...well, God knows where I'll end up next. A potato farmer.... In Idaho.... So. Here I am...clothes stacked up in order of preference in case I run out of room in my car, books off the shelf, cat packaged in styrofoam, and smoking myself into an iron lung. So what the hell do I do when I get to Utah you ask? Well, I spoke to Todd, and he has an extra bedroom at his apt that I'm welcome to stay in while I gain some footing. Jenny has said she wouldn't mind me crashing with her too. So couch surfing is the order of the month while I try and get a job somewhere and put together the scratch to fund my deposits and first months rent on an apt. A month if I'm lucky that is. All the while finishing up my degree from USU, and taking classes toward a teaching cert. at the U. Perhaps my student loans could be hedged a bit to afford an apt. more quickly...have to see. Knock, knock. Hi Zions Bank! Remember me? Yeah...that's right, that kooky guy from Logantown...now gimme some more cash. And some education. And some seedless grapes. And a raincoat. And some oatmeal. A pack of smokes...and some Smarties if you've got 'em laying around still from Halloween... Yeah, yeah. Mmhmm. Okay, thanks a lot. Ahem. So you might be entertained to know that returning to Houston did show up on the radar for a bit, for it's easiness factor alone. But I scrapped that idea since I think I'd do what I always do when I'm in Houston. Sit around, pretend to be looking for a job while browsing the net and playing EQ, and basically be a waste of oxygen. And that would piss off all the wrong people. Besides, I do my best work when I'm fighting against homelessness and starvation. When the fire under me goes from warm to searing, and I'm careening along the fine line between shining bright and burning up... But I don't feel very shiny today. Okay. I'm going to go back to gathering up my things...just wanted to send out an update...I think I'll have a few more in me before I close and lock the door on my life here, and head west. Wish me luck. j.s.

Monday, November 11, 2002

CLICK ME!!! (credit for this one goes to Brooke and Tim.) I've been laughing out loud in my room for about an hour now. Either this is really funny...or I'm losing more of my mind by the minute. Just go to the main site (www.homestarrunner.com) if you feel the need to figure out what's going on. j.s. p.s. Btw, decision day is tomorrow...it looks like Utah. But tomorrow will tell.

Sunday, November 10, 2002

Yep. Did the talk with Mom too. Which was a little rough, but the shouting was kept at a minimum particularly due to my lead-encased home and lack of cell phone reception. She said she'd back me up, not financially of course, but stand behind my decision nonetheless. She was very quick to remind me of how much I wanted to leave Utah just 7 months ago, and that moving to Baltimore was the number one priority on my list. She thinks that I am running back to a "comfort zone" in Utah since my friends are there, and that it would be taking steps backward instead of forward. Now, that's a whole lot of rhetoric to dump on someone who is trying to make good decisions about what to do with their life, so in kind, I've been piss drunk both Friday and last night. (Which would explain that strange phone call at 5 a.m. your time. =] ) And thus, internal debate over what I should do has been kinda lacking in the severity dept. Mom also asked why I couldn't just get my teaching certificate here in Baltimore. Aside from the obvious increased cost of doing this, it just doesn't seem like a good idea to me. Couldn't tell you why. It just feels like if I'm going to go to school, I should do it in SLC. Bah. The more I think about it, the more I go in circles. Oop...Ding How guy at the front door........................................ Ahh...swee-n-souah cheekan wi' whii rihce. Eatin' and bloggin'. I looked into the logistics of becoming a teacher, and it seems that would be worth it to get my masters while I get the teaching certificate. Just having a masters degree bumps your pay up by about 5k a year to start...and it would take me the same amount of time to do one as to do both. (3 semesters) And yeah, due to my lack of pay I'm sure I'll be on the hunt for the rich and powerful moguls in Park City... mos' defnily, mos' defnily. Okay, going to finish up my dinner and try and figure this out, tomorrow is Mom's b-day and she is expecting me to come up with something by then. Which means I have about 20 hours to think of something good. I just got off the phone with Gram, and she has offered to take Audrey again if I go back to SLC. Things seem to be setting in motion already and I haven't even made a decision yet... Talk to you later, j.s. p.s. Fortune Cookie says: "Many a false step is made by standing still." Dicks.

Friday, November 08, 2002

She is short-haired, all black, and about 10 weeks old. Should keep the sheding to a minimum. Anyhow, The great thing about being a teacher is you get 25K (and that sucks), but that is for only a little over a half of a year's work (and that's good). Needless to say, I would keep an eye out and spend a good deal of time in Park City in the winter rolling the dice with the rich divorcees ;-), but all and all it sounds like a plan. The only reason I was saying "pull the trigger" to you the other day, bro, is I know we have the capacity to talk ourselves in and out of any idea, so I was thinking that a snapshot start to this idea might fuel it. One never knows about these things, hehe. Plus I know the sooner you get to Utah and are able to hang out with Jenny and Todd again, the more happy you will be. But anywhichway, I have to head out and pick up my dry cleaning and visit the Chinese nomes for fresh droors, but I'll be back around later this evening. I work until 1AM so I may be a little tired but I'll holler back during the weekend sometime. ~D~

Thursday, November 07, 2002

Jerem E. Coyote...SUPRA Genius! =] I....like it. So, it's 3 a.m. here, and I can't sleep. My head is whirling. So the latest idea to strike me is, to actually go back to school. ducks No, really. For a year. Just to get my teaching certificate. I think teaching English to really dense people sounds like a good way to spend an afternoon, don't you? I knew you would. This has brought me to two questions...the first being, how the hell am I going to afford to just be a teacher and make 25k a year? I can't live on that... And how the hell is G.D. Coyote...my SUPRA GENIUS brother going to handle my portfolio with that? (10% invested from 25k post tax? $2000 a year. Eewww...) The second is, where would I go about getting this mythical slip of paper that legally allows me to sculpt the malleable substance that is a youthful mind? Your answer will probably be the same as mine... My god... Think I'll sleep on this one...or try to anyway. Nice lookin' out on the cat btw. What color/how old? j.s.



Oh... and I always was well aware of you being a genius. You didn't have to take a test; you could've just asked. I fucking had to grow up with that shit ("...sleep in my bed and put a pillow by your feet so you look taller." Genius my man. Super-genius. Hehe). =D. G'night bro. ~D~



So I am sitting here with my new kitten, Josie (took her home from the SPCA and she just let out this long whine while she was in the box until I let her out in the car... hence "Josie wales!"), asleep in my lap reading through your blog and I can't help but think that you are sounding more like you every time we chat on here. I know you will come up with a plan, bro. Shit, even the wierdest little crap ideas work out sometimes (I made $590 on Continental Airlines stock today that I bought as a joke... so I bought mom a new stereo system for her car for her b-day, sold the stock, and broke even ;-)). Good things happen to good people brother, and you and I are playing pretty far under par in terms of karma and propriety. It will work out for you, I am sure of it. But until you figure out whatever it is that you decide makes you happy... keep on bloggin away bro and let me know if you need anything or just want to bullshit. I know I am not easy to get a hold of over the phone because of my hours, but I'll be here in the evenings checkin the blogger every night. Love you brother... "I'll talk at cha." ;-) ~D~

Tuesday, November 05, 2002

Oh yeah, and in equally ironic news: Norwegian Nightmares - 62 : Chinstrap Yard Gnomes - 124 They were the number one team in the league. Hehehe...



Thanks D. I've spent Mon. hiding out from the world here in my house really. Slept until 2 p.m. (Slept until 3 today, a whopping 13 hours of sleep...unreal) After having several of mom's friends offer "a meal at my house anytime, you're not going to starve.." on Friday and Sat., my cage was sufficiently rattled. (Had a birthday party to go to on Sunday at Janet's house, so that was equally grinding in terms of having to explain where I am.) I haven't broken out my journal and started formulating a plan yet as I have about a week to collect my composure and make a good decision. Starting by cleaning up the house a bit today, doing some laundry and the dishes, trying to get things in order. Thinking I'll pop out and nab a WSJ to do my USU assignments while I have the time. Stay tuned. There's something coming up I'm sure... As far as "uprootings" go, I'm pretty much used to them by now. So I'm not too concerned about packing up my clothes and my computer and skipping town if the chips fall that way, but I'm not there yet. To be honest, something in the back of my mind has kept me from getting too comfortable here. It's always seemed temporary for some reason, even when I WAS working. Nothing there but face value though, I'm still really trying to figure out how to make the life I made in Baltimore work before I try another one. I'm heading to J. Crew later this week to see if they still need me...have sent in another resume to Under Armour and haven't heard back. (Gasp!) Emailed a resume to the new and improved DWANGO, haven't heard anything back from them yet either. That one bears chasing a bit though. Going to call Houston and Seattle info to get their office numbers and give 'em a call. Like I said, I'm starting to gear up again, it's just going to take a bit before I'm back at full, job-chasin' speed like I was. You know, part of the problem I have with being fired from that place is that I saw the rampant grabassticism that their "great employees" showed everyday. They couldn't open email attachments, OPENING email attachments from people they didn't know, (we had a wonderful bout with the Klez virus while I was there, mine was the only PC that didn't get infected) misspelled proposals going out to clients, getting stoned while their event was going on, forgetting tons of shit at the last minute and having to call the warehouse to send it out, taking weeks to complete things I asked them to do, etc. etc. I look at all of that, and think, "And they fired ME?" But I was quiet about those things while I was there, perhaps I should've been louder about the fact that everyone else seemed to be an idiot...and I would've still kept the job long enough to quit. Sigh. Doesn't matter I guess. Oh, I passed my Mensa exam by the way. It's official, your older brother is an unemployed genius. =] Hehehehe...that makes me gee-gle a bit though. Okay, back to doing laundry. I'll talk at you more later. Love you D, j.s.

Monday, November 04, 2002

Nothing is a "cop-out" man. It doesn't really matter what anything seems to anyone else as long as you are happy. As far as Utah goes, you are right that there are people there that care about you man, but the only thing I would ask you is how many more uprootings do you have left in you? I know it has a tendency to wear on you if you move around too much or get pulled this way and that, so my best goes to whatever you decide to do, bro. You can turn lemons into lemonade, I have seen it with my own eyes, Jer. Just point yourself in a direction my brother, and I'll back you up no matter what you decide to do. Having said that, I am having some thoughts about the future myself, but I will go into those another time as I just finished watching the shitty Jaguars lose again on ESPN. Sundays are very emotional for me, and my Packers play Monday night football so tomorrow might not be so great either. If I post on this thing tomorrow night, the you'll know Brett is back at 100% and had a good night. Hehe. Be concerned, but try not to worry, bro. I know that sounds contradictory, but I assure you that it makes perfect sense in my twisted mind. ;-). All other things be damned... I love you brother. Anything, anytime, anywhere... make the call. ~D~

Sunday, November 03, 2002

Okay...I'm at a loss. I shouldn't be, since now my options are completely open again...and since I wasn't really happy with my job anyway... Even so, having to start over and search for another one just sucks. Maybe I should go back to Utah. There are people there that care about me, would help me get on my feet... But it seems like such a copout that I hate even thinking about it. I can't do this right now. I'll talk more later. j.s.

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